the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
