My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
