also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Randomize
