Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
