yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
