I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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