Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
