your thong is hanging out like whoa
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
