Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
