we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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