I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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