This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
