the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
