Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
