once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
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