I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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