is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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