grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
