ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
