I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
