She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
