AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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