im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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