the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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