i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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