look no pants
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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