what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
