super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
