i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We smell like vodka and hangover
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
