If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
