He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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