did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
