You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
