I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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