Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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