Already got asked if we're dating
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
