under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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