If i come over, it means nothing
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
