im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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