Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
