why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
