we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
