well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
