It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
