What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
