Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
