No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
As shirtless as possible
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
