my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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