Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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