My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
