we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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