The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
