You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
