You can't motorboat a personality
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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