wat bout pragnant strippers??
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize